Walking into the video shoot for "Give," I really didn't know what to expect. I knew it was going to be a documentary style shoot, very loose, with the incredible and dear Nigel Dick directing.  I knew we were going to be working with the homeless youth of Chicago and that those who showed up the day before to meet Nigel and sign up for the video might not necessarily show up the following day. I knew I was going to be interviewing these kids at some point in the day and I was really terrified. I didn't want to ever offend them, make them feel anything less than, and I never wanted them to ever feel taken advantage of in any way.

I pulled up in a white minivan to our base camp and saw Nigel, a small crew, Tom, the head of the Chicago chapter of Stand Up For Kids and about 15 young adults....all races, all different shapes and sizes, all different styles, haircuts and clothes. They were all surrounding the breakfast table. For some, this was probably their first meal in a few days.  My heart literally was jumping out of my chest. What would I say? Will they like me? Those were just a few of the questions running through my head. I went in my trailer, Nigel following behind me and I turned to him and said "I'm scared." Thank GOD he shared the same fears and concerns but with his kind heart and comforting words he reassured me that we could do this, together. I then jumped right back out into the crowd of kids, introduced myself to which I received some of the most polite welcomes. I then told the kids that, "We were there for them and we wanted to tell their stories."  They were all eager to share their lives with us and many wanted to sing with me.  

We made our way to an area where a lot of these kids have spent many nights on the torn couches that have been abandoned underneath the L Train. We fought the sound of the train all day, loud as hell by the way. I can't imagine "sleeping" with that kind of noise constantly running above me on dirty, torn up couches and never really being able to relax or close both eyes in fear of someone taking what few things I had, or harming me. That is the reality for these kids. They live in a world where they've all sort of become a family and look out for each other as much as they can. On the streets though, I was told by many that, "You can't trust anyone and you really have no real friends." That's a thought that tears me in two. Not only do these kids not know where they're going to sleep at night or where their next meal will come from, these kids are lonely, terrified and hurting....deeply. 

It was relaxing and quite entertaining to just joke around with them all in between takes. They had such great spirits and wicked senses of humor. When it came time to interview them I had already begun to get a feel for who they were.  The questions I posed were not easy to ask at all. I know how it feels to have a stranger pry into a part of your life where only few are allowed to go, so it hurt me to talk to them about their very tough situations and how they ended up as part of the homeless youth of America. Tears filled my eyes many times. The really outgoing ones all of a sudden turned into pain ridden little kids when asked certain questions, whispering the answers, and hiding their eyes behind sunglasses, lowering their hats as they said thing like, "My mom was an addict when I was young. She committed suicide in '06." Or they'd say something like "I was passed around from foster home to foster home, no one wanted me. I kept running away and finally they stopped looking." All I wanted to do was hug them and truthfully, that's what I did all day. I'd hug them; they'd walk up out of the blue and hug me. 

We really connected in many ways. And although we lead very different lives, when it comes to trust, the fear of abandonment and wanting to hide painful experiences I completely related. They were thrilled to be a part of my video. They were nothing but helpful, protective, kind and very hardworking, which was the biggest misconception about them they said. They are not lazy, far from it actually.  I found out a lot of them write, play instruments, sing and one even takes an acting class. Some go to school, some will admit straight out that they're alcoholics or drug addicts....some are in denial about the life they are living. One thing that they have not lost is hope and many of them have high hopes and ambitions. Stand Up For Kids, the volunteer based organization is a god send for these kids. They've supplied food, housing, paid their rent for a few months, found them jobs, sent them to school and most importantly given them some kind of figure in their life to help guide, listen and be a constant. These volunteers are really the only constant they have. Their bond is very, very strong with the volunteers. The emotional support they provide is crucial to helping these kids get back on their feet. 

Filming the video for "Give" really provided me an opportunity to help these kids to be heard and really shed some light on a huge problem we have right here at home in our country. The whole experience changed my life. I think twice before complaining, I appreciate everything I'm blessed with, like every meal, my bed, a roof over my head, my friends, family....a safe place to fall. I don't know if I'll ever see those wonderful kids again, but one thing I know is we left a mark on each other's hearts.  While wrapping the video late in the evening I was sent off with HUGE hugs, thank you's and many I love you's. I'm sure those words are not something these kids throw around often, so I felt very honored and I knew they meant it. I really fell in love with them too.  My life is forever changed. One thing they said is no one looks them in the eye when they see them on the streets, so there's a deep loneliness there and a feeling of almost not existing. I will now always look anyone who's homeless in the eye and smile. That smile could make their whole day. It could make them feel like they are alive and a part of the world. It's amazing where life takes you. Who knew that a beautiful song would come my way and cause a chain reaction of change, in my life and hopefully the lives of many others.

http://standupforkids.org/